When married couples split up, they often don’t initiate divorce proceedings in an amicable fashion. Especially, when kids are in the picture, the prospect of a parent not getting to spend his or her free time with his or her child may make things quite difficult to swallow.
If you have two kids, it’s not unheard of that one parent may suggest that one of you retains custody of one of the children while the other retains custody of another. Studies show, though, that this is a poor choice to make.
Child psychologists argue that this approach is definitively not in the best interest of your children. As for one of the key reasons that it isn’t, they note that it takes away a child’s opportunity to have a peer to grieve the demise of the relationship with.
A child having someone else around their own age to spend time with as the world as they’ve long known it to be is in flux can be critical to them in not developing a sense of loneliness. When siblings have each other to talk to about their feelings surrounding a divorce, it gives them a feeling that they’re not alone in their worries or struggles to persevere.
Just think about it. If a parent gets stuck at work or in traffic and is late to pick his or her kids up from school, an extracurricular activity or an event, a child may find comfort in knowing that his or her sibling is there to comfort him or her. Also, if a parent gets involved in a new relationship, a child that has a sibling around can find reassurance that mom or dad spending time with his or her new partner shouldn’t be taken as a sign that he or she is unimportant.
Keeping the kids together will also ensure that your children always have someone to have a meal with, someone to play with or check their school work when you become a single parent as well.
In the alternative, splitting up the kids could prove unproductive in that it could force children to pick sides with one parent versus another.
If you are getting divorced and you’re interested in brokering a visitation schedule where you can share time with your kids, then a Providence, Rhode Island child custody attorney can provide guidance in your case.
Source: DivorceCare for Kids, “Separating Siblings in the Divorce,” Linda Ranson Jacobs, accessed Dec. 01, 2017
