For children of divorce and their parents, major holidays can be among the most difficult times of the year. Often, children spend major holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving with just one parent, which can be bittersweet for them and sad for the parent who isn't there. Attempts to spend the holidays together as a family after divorce can be even worse if ex-spouses have difficulty being around each other, let alone their former in-laws.
Child support is based on a binding court order. It's not something parents do to be kind to their kids or to help out an ex. As such, they can't stop paying simply because they don't want to or because they failed to save up enough money after other expenses. It's a mandatory payment that has to be met.
Toxic relationships don't necessarily become less toxic when a couple parts ways. In fact, sometimes, the stress and conflict of divorce can bring even more animosity between people. However, when you have children, you have to find a way to communicate civilly for their well-beieng, if not for your own mental health.
For a child, having parents who don't live together is often difficult to handle. If you are a parent in that position, you need to think carefully about how you are going to deal with your child's other parent. It might seem all too easy to just nitpick at everything the other parent does; however, doing this can cause frustration and turn a difficult situation into an even worse one.
When married couples split up, they often don't initiate divorce proceedings in an amicable fashion. Especially, when kids are in the picture, the prospect of a parent not getting to spend his or her free time with his or her child may make things quite difficult to swallow.
Nearly all married parents who have serious problems in their relationship debate whether it's better for their children if they remain together or divorce. Divorce is nearly always upsetting for kids to some degree. However, living in a home where parents are constantly fighting or not speaking isn't healthy either.
If you're facing your first holiday season as a newly-separated or divorced parent, you're likely doing so with some sense of sadness and anxiety. No matter what your custody and visitation agreement is with your spouse, the kids are probably going to be spending some part of their Thanksgiving and Christmas vacations with their other parent.
Sometimes the worst events and circumstances can provide the best teachable moments for our children. Divorce is one of those. As stressful as this time may be for them, if parents model positive behavior, kids can learn a lot about how to handle conflict in a constructive manner, deal with negative emotions and work with people they may not see eye to eye with. These are all skills they will need as they move into adulthood.
If you and your spouse finally made the difficult decision to divorce after your summer vacation, you're not alone. Sociologists say that there are two peak months for divorce filings – August and March. These follow traditional summer and winter family vacation times.
When couples who are parents divorce, they never really completely end their relationship. They have to find a way to co-parent their children despite whatever residual issues they have from their marriage. Often the conflicts they had as partners morph into parenting conflicts.