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Protecting What Matters Most

How children of divorce deal with parental alienation

On Behalf of | Sep 1, 2023 | Child Custody & Support

While the divorce process focuses on two spouses ending their marriages, the true victims of divorce remain the children. Unlike their parents, they had no say in the life-changing decisions. On far too many occasions, parental alienation without any justification becomes the new norm.

Post-divorce pain

Kids equally feel the pain, and often, the outcome leads to serious anxiety problems and resistance to maintaining contact with a parent who loves them. Far too often, the courts end up reinforcing that anxiety due to a lack of insight by family courts and professionals.

A bitter divorce sees parents at odds, with one or both citing bad behavior. The manipulative trickle-down to the children can see them believing everything the so-called “favored” parent says and subsequently sharing those emotions. Simply put, that type of manipulation directly interferes with the allegedly “rejected” parents’ quality time with their children.

Children taking sides

Children witnessing the aftermath of one parent’s anger, distress, and countless other emotions find it to be too intense for them. Their inability to cope often results in kids falling in lockstep behind the parent with similar sentiments that feed into their resistance to being with the other parent.

Over time, thoughts of visiting the other parent create significant anxiety. Court officials and family law professionals who have witnessed countless signs of abuse can also take sides and give children what they want. More time with the isolated parent can make a bad situation worse.

The concept of alienated parents is difficult for children to understand. Due to limited access, the children only see one side of a story. Easing back into a relationship with an alienated parent will likely take time, precisely when it comes to both parents’ post-divorce relationship. Their best interests come first, which can eventually take the form of healthy relationships with both parents.

 

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