Dropping a child off at college for the first time can be extremely difficult for any parents. If you and your co-parent are separated or divorced, however, it’s crucial to work out how you’ll co-parent a child who’s away from home for the better part of the year but still largely dependent on you financially.
If that first college drop-off is coming up this fall, it’s crucial to get some things settled, if you haven’t already. This includes, of course, determining how college expenses – both major and minor – will be divided.
Determining where your child will spend time when they’re not at school
It’s also important to work out how your child’s time will be divided between you when they’re not at school – including weekend visits, if they’re not too far away, school breaks and summer vacation. Now that your child has likely aged out of the custody order, they’ll have more of a say in where they spend their time. They should never be made to feel like they’re choosing one parent over the other.
It’s still wise to reach some kind of agreement in place, at least for the first year. That’s especially true if trips home will involve a long drive, train ride or maybe flight arrangements.
Communication will be key. Your child should know that they can reach out to either or both of their parents if they need anything or are just a bit homesick or overwhelmed. It’s also a good idea for co-parents to stay in communication with each other, even if it’s through a co-parent app, about how a child is adjusting.
Coordinating your child’s drop-off at college
First, you need to coordinate the drop-off. Likely you both want to be part of it. If too much togetherness isn’t going to work for you and your co-parent, you can participate in different parts of it.
One could drive to school with your child and help them move their stuff, while the other could arrive later to help with any last-minute shopping, for example. It’s wise to come up with a couple of options and let your child decide which they prefer.
The better you and your co-parent can work together as co-parents of a college student, the more likely it is that your child will want to keep both of you in their life. If you need to make modifications to any of your divorce agreements, now is the time to consider those, with legal guidance.